As children we possess an inherent sense of optimism, as we grow older, our family and societal conditioning shape us and the nature of our optimism also changes. Unfortunately, in many cases, we tend to adopt a more pessimistic outlook on life. However, it is important to note that optimism falls over a spectrum, which means you can be optimistic in certain aspects of your life and maintain a pessimistic view in others.
Luckily optimism is a mindset that is possible to obtain through shifting our beliefs and how we talk to ourselves.
Learned Optimism
Learned Optimism is a term first coined by Martin Seligman, “The Father of Positive Psychology”. He states that we all have a choice in how we think. We can either choose to have a negative, pessimistic view of life, or we can choose to have a positive, optimistic view of life. According to Seligman, the main difference between an optimist and a pessimist is how they explain setbacks and victories to themselves.
To better understand this point of view Seligman developed specific guidelines called explanatory styles.
He divided it into the 3 P’s
Permanence, Pervasiveness and Personalization
Before we dive into clarifying the various explanatory styles, we first need to fully understand the power of pessimism and the effects it can have on us and our lives. Dr. Seligman conducted meticulous research on something called Learned helplessness, which is a psychological condition that can affect both animals and people.
Learned Helplessness
When a pessimist fails, they often believe the failure is due to their lack of ability and tend to see their situation as permanent. Their negative mindset leads them to presume that trying again would result in yet another failure.
Some people develop a pattern of hopelessness and a sense of powerlessness in certain areas where they have previously failed. Eventually, failure becomes an anticipated outcome, and with time they give up trying altogether. It can leave them paralyzed and incompetent to resolve major life issues. This phenomenon is called learned helplessness.
According to Seligman, repeated failures can eventually spiral to the point of extreme pessimism.
Explanatory Style
Explanatory style is how you explain and attach meaning to things happening in your life. It’s our inner dialog, where we rationalize, process, and interpret various events according to our beliefs, values, and mindset.
The 3 P’s
Permanence – How permanent is the problem?
Let’s say you did not get the job you wanted
The Optimist would say:
“There are many more jobs out there I like that I can apply for”, “This is just one isolated event and it is not a permanent situation”.
The Pessimist would say:
“That job was perfect, I will never find another job like that”, “I might as well give up entirely since I did not get what I wanted”. It is a permanent situation and it will never change.
Pervasive – Does the problem spill into other parts of your life?
Let’s say you missed your flight
The Optimist would say:
“That’s a bit of a hassle, I might miss the connecting flight. I’ll check for other flights, I am sure there is a solution to this problem”.
The Pessimist would say:
“This is the worst thing that could have happened! Now I will miss my connecting flight. This means I will not get home in time. My wife will think I am cheating on her and take the kids and leave. My boss will probably fire me for coming back late from my vacation. Everything will fall apart just because of missing this flight”.
You can compare this thought pattern to Catastrophizing. Where one small negative event blows out of proportion creating an avalanche of negative outcomes. (In your mind)
Personalization – Do you take it personally?
Let’s say you are in a restaurant, you take your plate of food to get some dressing and you drop the plate filled with food on the ground, breaking the plate
When the optimist drops and breaks the plate:
The Optimist would say:
“It’s ok, it was bad luck, it was not my fault, the plate slipped and I dropped it”
The optimist tends to say he is not responsible for all the problems that may occur in his life.
If something good happens to the optimist, he gets rewarded for good accomplishments at work. Then the optimist takes full responsibility for the event. “I got this reward because I am a really good employee, I always come to work on time, all the customers and employees love me and I have good sales figures, this reward is well deserved”.
An optimist would think that the situation is permanent, it is going to happen repeatedly in the future. It is not just one event, it’s pervasive, it spills over to many different areas of their life. It is personal, they think it has to do with them.
When the pessimist drops and breaks the plate:
The Pessimist would say:
“I am so stupid! I should have been more careful. How can this happen to me? I am such an idiot”.
The pessimist tends to say he is responsible for all the problems that may occur in his life.
When something positive happens to the pessimist, he gets rewarded for good accomplishments at work. The pessimist does the opposite, he tends to humble himself, not taking responsibility for the positive event. “Sure I have always been on time, the customers and employees seem to like me, but in the end, anyone could have got it. It was not really me and the work I do, the company needed someone to give this reward to, so the reward was not fully honest.
A pessimist would think this positive event is not permanent, it is not going to happen again. It is one isolated event and not pervasive, they got lucky in this one aspect and they do not take it personally. They think the boss must have been in a good mood and it has nothing to do with their hard work.
Conclusion
If you find that the language you use toward yourself tends to be pessimistic or negative, regardless of whether something good or bad happens, it might be time to consider shifting your mindset. Changing how you perceive life, events and yourself can be transformational.
In an upcoming blog post, I will write about “Emotional Resilience,” where you can find examples on how to shift your mindset and embrace a more positive outlook on life.
Did you find this blog post helpful? Do you have any tips on how you shift your mindset or how you talk to yourself? Please leave a comment and let us know.
Danoue
This is a great post! The mindset game is very important. We’re too harsh on ourselves.
spirit.expanding
We definitely are too harsh on ourselves. Its time to ease up. Thank you for your comment ❤️
Heidi
The examples were really helpful. Thank you for sharing!
Elisa
Thanks for sharing these insightful tips and suggestions
spirit.expanding
Thank you ❤️
Eshna Dalal Saharan
Interesting post.. like how you explained it with examples..
spirit.expanding
Thank you! I hope you found it helpful ❤️
Mo
Really interesting take. I am always fascinated with how people think and why they do what they do.
spirit.expanding
Thank you! I am glad you enjoyed it! ❤️
Sheenia Denae | Live Love & Blossom
The power of positive thinking, love it!
Jimmy Clare | CrazyFitnessGuy
a very interesting article and read
Spirit.expanding
Thank you ❤
Nakina Lawson
I am often inclined to pessimism, especially when I’m tired at the end of the day. This post is helpful in highlighting different examples of pessimism and how to flip them to a more positive viewpoint. Problems are pervasive when I get in that state. I don’t see until morning (when I’m bright and cheerful) that tomorrow is another day with a bright future. Problems exist, but so do solutions. Sometimes, I forget to apply this to myself! Thank you for the reminder and your practical tips on applying positivity to those situations!
Spirit.expanding
I am glad you found this post useful ❤ I think all people are naturally inclined to be pessimists, especially if things do not go their way. Practice makes perfect ❤ Thank you for reading ❤
Domii
This piece does a great job of breaking down how optimism evolves and how our mindset plays a crucial role in shaping our outlook. The connection to Martin Seligman’s work adds depth, reinforcing that optimism isn’t just an inherent trait but a skill we can develop.
Alana
Very interesting article. I ofter forget to apply myself, I found this very inspiring. Great tips on how to do this, thanks.