Written By Sasha, October, 2024
They walk amongst us, appearing as ordinary people, just like anyone else. They could be your sibling, coworker, or the person standing next to you in line. The only difference between you and them lies in the span of emotions that are experienced and felt. Most people are unaware that they have encountered such an individual at some point in their lives. This is because they are not easy to spot and are hiding in plain sight.
We often want to believe that most people we meet in life have good intentions and a kind heart. It rarely crosses our minds that the person we interact with might harbor ill intentions and would in fact enjoy seeing us suffer.
In most cases, psychopaths are relatively “harmless,” allowing us to have fleeting interactions with them that may even yield enjoyable experiences, like a fun night out or a day at the cinema.
However, the problem appears when they latch on to you, turning you into their “victim.” This can inflict significant damage on your mental health and, in worst-case scenarios, even lead to death.
My Story
A few years ago, I was an incredibly naive person leading a somewhat sheltered life. I did not believe psychopaths existed since I never crossed paths with such a person. I was happily married to a loving, caring man who took care of me. We lived together for 14 years, until one day when our marriage abruptly ended and I fell into a deep state of depression.
It was during this vulnerable period that I encountered a remarkably charming man who swept me off my feet. Early on we initiated a relationship, although, with every interaction, I sensed that there was something out of place but I could not put my finger on it, and then I fell in love.
Through my relationship with this charming man, who turned out to be a full-blown psychopath, I gained an intimate and detailed understanding of how such individuals function. As an empath and a daughter of narcissistic parents, I have an inherent ability to read people, and emotions and interpret situations. Being with a psychopath heightened my observational skills and opened up a whole new world of decoding people, and their intentions and identifying specific patterns of behavior, especially amongst those with limited emotional capabilities.
After finally breaking free from this relationship, I stumbled upon a new interest quite unexpectedly. I started noticing the same kind of patterns or traits in people around me that my psychopathic boyfriend had. At first, I thought that these patterns were an effect of the trauma I endured. Although the resemblance was too much of a coincidence, so I started asking questions to unravel if the patterns coincided with the actual truth. And it did!
Over the years, I embarked on an adventure of identifying psychopathic individuals, encountering them in various settings such as underground raves, at my workplace, traveling, and even during my time volunteering in ashrams. It became evident to me that psychopaths exist in everyday life, and not all of them are serial killers. Many operate covertly, avoiding detection while being great opportunists, if they can get away with a crime they will do it. They are master manipulators and are many times very convincing. If you are their victim they will undoubtedly tie your brain into a knot.
In this post, I will share my perceptions of what I discovered during my many interactions with these types of individuals. I will try to be as detailed as possible, although I am by all means no expert so if you read this and do not agree please do leave a comment so I can further my knowledge and understanding. Hopefully, the information I have gathered is helpful enough to reveal the “identity” of your oppressor.
All of us can have one or two of these behaviors but having more than five is somewhat of a warning sign. However, to know if a psychopath really is a psychopath they have to do a proper psychopathy test. Examples of such tests are the Hare-Psychopathy Checklist or the PCL-R test which should be done in clinical settings.
Please seek help if you are fully aware that you are in a relationship with a dangerous person but you do not know how to break free. Warning! Never reveal that you know that they are a psychopath.
Since there is a lot to cover I have divided this blog post into three separate parts, starting with fleeting interactions.
Table of Contents
Characteristics Of A Psychopath
– Fleeting Interactions
1. Superficial charm
2. Awkward sense of humor or Awkward in general
3. Excessive flattery
– When in a relationship with a psychopath
4. Mimicking behavior and facial expressions
5. Gather Personal Information and Mimicking Your Story
6. Malignant Intuition
7. Sob Story
8. Generosity
9. Financial Dependency
10. Under the Belt Comments or Jokes At Your Expense
11. Low Speech
12. Silent Observer
13. Journaling
Conclusion
Characteristics Of A Psychopath

Picture taken by Dapo Abideen, Pexel
Fleeting Interactions
In the initial stages of meeting a psychopath, there are a few telltale signs to watch out for. This particularly applies to shallow encounters, such as meeting someone at a bar or as part of a larger group of newfound friends, or acquaintances, like travel companions.
- Superficial charm
Usually, they are very charismatic and larger than life making normal people seem dull and uninteresting. A psychopath has the ability to lift the person they talk to and skillfully boost their self-esteem. Over time, they have learned how and what to say to whom. They possess a general understanding of which types of comments will resonate with a specific person and are fully aware that being kind and easygoing is what people in general fall for. They make you feel there is a connection between the two of you.
- Awkward sense of humor, or awkward in general
Often, psychopaths exhibit social awkwardness and tell jokes that seem out of sync with the crowd. This can be due to their detachment from societal norms and their distinctness from the commoner.
In my encounters with psychopaths, I have often noticed that their jokes and sense of humor is dry and unamusing. However, I am uncertain if this is a part of their act or a genuine reflection of their personality.
- Excessive flattery
They shower you with compliments which can sometimes feel overwhelming. It might come across as trying too hard, almost like bombarding you with affection. When something seems unbelievably perfect, it’s often because it’s just that – too good to be true.
When in a relationship with a psychopath
They can lavish you with praise and flattery one day and ignore you and your calls the next. If you point this out to them, they will call you needy and too sensitive. Their behavior is deliberately aimed at diminishing your self-esteem and instilling self-doubt, as this makes it easier for them to manipulate you. As always, when confronted about their behavior, they will accuse you of causing problems and make you feel as if everything is your fault.
- Mimicking facial expressions and behavior
A natural part of human social interactions is to mimic behaviors and facial expressions on a subconscious level. We mimic each other from infancy and most likely we mimic behaviors that we like in one another. This is significant for us humans to become socially accepted and it increases our social bond.
Psychopaths use this concept to their advantage with the end goal of you liking them. The better, sutler they mimic you, the more you will end up liking them.
Read about mimicry: Mimicry: causes and consequences – ScienceDirect
- Mimicking Your Story and Gather Personal Information
Interactions with a psychopath can be highly captivating. They ask a lot of questions and display a keen interest in everything you say. Many times they agree with your point of view and even claim they share the same interests as you do.
It is important to recognize that this behavior simply serves as a manipulation tactic and is aimed at gaining likability by mirroring you and your interests.
Additionally, they seek to gain insight into your motivations, desires, weaknesses, vulnerabilities, and personal boundaries. This information is then used by them as a manipulation strategy, to exploit your vulnerabilities and push your limits.
Sidenote
During the first few months of dating my ex-boyfriend, I was flattered by all the attention and interest he displayed in me. He overwhelmed me with excessive flattery, constantly wanting to meet and frequently picking me up from work, as well as mirroring my behaviors and all my interests. With a clouded judgment, I mistook this behavior for a pure romantic gesture.
In today’s emotionally starved societies, the presence of genuine interest and attention towards one another is most often non-existent. Commonly overlooked and neglected are societies’ most vulnerable, the weak links. They are good targets because of their vulnerable states and often impaired judgment. Psychopaths prey on elderly, depressed, sad, empathic, wealthy, and narcissistic people. However, anyone can fall victim to a psychopath.
A narcissistic person is especially susceptible to a psychopath’s manipulative tactics. The manipulation strategies often involve catering to all their needs (the narcissistic supply) and bolstering their already inflated ego.
- Malignant Intuition
They tell you what you always wanted to hear. They know exactly when to give you a crumb so you will get lured in by them or stay in the relationship.
- Sob story
A recurring pattern with psychopaths is that they almost always tell you a sob story. This maneuvering ploy starts right from the first encounter and continues throughout the entire relationship. They do it a lot! I don’t think I have met one who does not try to elicit sympathy from others in some manner. If you are an empath you are especially vulnerable to be drawn into their sob stories, you will be willing to help them to ease all of their pain. Be aware!
- Generosity
A psychopath never gives gifts or covers expenses out of pure love or altruism. Their motivation behind such gestures is undoubtedly rooted in manipulation. Either they want to make a positive impression on you or they want to sway you in a fight, the overall aim is to manipulate you and gain influence over you.
Regardless of whether you’ve just met or are in a relationship. I recommend you to turn down their gift or payment offerings. The more you accept their handouts, the deeper the entanglement becomes, making it harder for you to say no when they ask for future favors or financial requests.
The primary goal of this manipulation tactic is to emanate emotions of guilt or a sense of indebtedness. You might feel that you owe them something and that you have to give back.
When I recognized this behavior in my ex-boyfriend, I accepted his gifts, never returning any without a guilty conscience.
- Financial Dependency
On many occasions, I have come across psychopaths who weave sob stories of financial hardship. They have claimed they have been robbed, are owed money to, or simply can not work for some very sad reason. The interactions often left me paying for them.
However, it is worth noting that there are also psychopaths who do have money and will cover all your expenses, purely to manipulate you.
- Under the Belt Comments or Jokes At Your Expense
They possess a cruel attitude, are prone to being mean, and view themselves as superior to other people. This is evident in their behavior, as they often engage in bullying, give derogatory comments, or are belittling in some kind of way. They find it satisfying and amusing to be mocking or to make jokes at your expense. The interactions with them can leave you feeling uncomfortable, sad, angry, or annoyed.
- Low Speech
On multiple occasions, I have come across psychopaths who have low speech or are mumbling. The reasons behind this behavior is not very clear to me.
- Silent Observer
Many times I have encountered psychopaths silently observing everyone around them. They are meticulously analyzing and taking note of your behavior, how you act, your body language, your speech, laughter even how and what you say. Their purpose is to mimic your behavior to establish a strong connection with you, and for you to like them more.
In a few of these instances, I have witnessed how they provide alcohol and drugs to their peers, while only pretending to partake themselves. As their “friends” become increasingly inebriated, their defenses lower, making it easier for the psychopath to retrieve sensitive information and manipulate them.
- Journaling
If you see them writing in a journal. The chances are that they are writing down all the characteristics that they have observed in others. It is easier to write everything down than to remember all the behaviors by heart.
Conclusion
In conclusion, these behaviors, though they may not appear harmful at first, are sophisticated techniques for manipulation. Trust your instincts and seek support if you notice you are being manipulated. Recognizing and taking these signs seriously is vital for protecting yourself; it will also save you from much greater harm down the line.
Mo
Really great article and insights. In many ways some of these cross over with traits of covert narcissism (from my research on that).
spirit.expanding
Yes indeed, they do have a lot of similarities. Thank you for the support Mo. Much love ❤️
Kindra Redix
Thank you for sharing your story and testimony. I know it couldn’t have been easy. Everyone needs to know the red flags of a psychopath.
spirit.expanding
Thank you Kindra. It was not easy. I am happy to share my findings though and I hope they can be helpful to other people as well. Much love ❤️
Corrinne
I’ve come across a few of them myself! You’re an excellent writer! ❤️ Great post. Super informative.
spirit.expanding
Thank you so much Corrinne! It makes me so happy to hear your kind words. Much love ❤️
Kelly Krebs
Wow this post is full of important information about psychopaths. Thank you for sharing your story and the 13 signs you found. Some of these I never would have thought of.
spirit.expanding
Thank you Kelly! I am glad you found it helpful! Much love ❤️
Danoue
Oh good to know. This is such a great article.
spirit.expanding
Thank you Danoue! Much love ❤️
Julie
This is fascinating! Some of the warning signs I was a bit more familiar with from my own reading and such, but others were new to me. I’m definitely going to keep them in mind going forward.
Also, I am so sorry that you had to go through that.
spirit.expanding
Thank you Julie! It was not easy to go through all of that. I am happy I could contribute with some new info. There is more coming. Much love ❤️
Terra
Wow! I’ve never thought of it this way. I actually have seen this in a person that was incredibly hurtful to me. But always thought it was me. But this is everything they did.
spirit.expanding
I know. It can be extremely hurtful and its easy to blame ourselves. That is their goal though. There is more to come of their tactics so stay tuned! Much love ❤️
Marian
Thank you for the insight and your personal experience recognizing the traits and red
flags in these individuals .
spirit.expanding
Thank you Marian ❤️ Much love to you ❤️
Olga
It is an exciting post! I`m afraid of psychopaths, and I’ll try to remember the signs you mentioned in the article.
spirit.expanding
Thank you ❤️ I really understand your fear! I have been there myself ❤️ Much love to you ❤️
Dominique P
Such a personal and exciting topic you chose to share with us today. I read it until the end and I’m so deeply touched by your story. Thanks for sharing!
spirit.expanding
Thank you so much Dominique! ❤️ Much love to you ❤️